Physics Pun Lover Pillows

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

Half Life Insurance.

She loves to play with string theory.

"I know a little bit about string theory. I know it's a lot of fun to play with."

"Is that it? Is that the Grand Unified Theory?"

"We've invented a new quantum microchip and at the same time we haven't."

Hit it! The Big Band Theory.

Physicists can't explain why neutrinos were clocked going faster than the speed of light. Maybe they were going downhill.

Quark soup

Anti-gravity protest .

'What weighs the same no matter how big it gets?'

'Young Lady, come down here this instant before the juvenile authorities arrest you for violating the laws of gravity.'

Splitting the atom bill.

The Dean of Physics Demonstrates the Basic Premise of Give and Take, And in Particular Take, To Professor Kott.

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

The Physiciatrist...

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

Happy Bifurcation Day,

It's a pretty serious chemical imbalance, Mr. Sims

"Here comes the super-visor."

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

"I don't know - the minute I figured out how to make it self-aware it realized it was naked, ran, and hid from me."

Professor Biggens instantly regretted putting his head into the particle accelerator...

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

"Kevin's sort of a negative person, while I tend to be positive, so we have an electrical connection."

'We must construct our own large hadron collider so that we can obtain results that are consistent with our cultural heritage.'

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

The Principal of Inertia.

"Pi and mash squared please."

People who understand Venn diagrams