Tome Toter T-Shirts

'What's this, lad? Didn't I tell you not to carry anything heavy!'

"First time pruning?"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Watering Money

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

Toys in the DVD Player.

Parenting Business Deals

'None of the other things had instructions.'

Small child checks out a book.

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

"I'm addicted to water."

One book... One book... One book...

"The judges aren't too impressed!"

Librarian.

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

Subway Library

Sunblock - A Novel

"It's shrinkflation!"

'Grow you son of a bitch!'

'Open it... I think they have to go potty.'

'They're fine through the day, but when I leave work the little one goes 'wee wee wee' all the way home.'

'The problem's too simple - call someone else'

A man carves a totem pole

Making Totem.

'The plums are dry. It's time to prune.'

'Moving Day' for Christmas Presents

Moral Ambiguity

"The classics can be so intimidating."

Content of a parent's hoover

"For the next meeting of our book club, we really need more books."

'You are so unorganized!'

Child sewing up her toys' mouths.

"I told you getting bangs was a stupid idea."