Totem Enthusiast T-Shirts

Making Totem.

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

"Garden variety allergies."

The Fall of Gnome

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

Pope tarts.

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.

'Mom, what setting do you use for warming up slippers?'

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

Superheroes League. Just to avoid an argument, don't refer to Superman as "The Man of Steel" in front of Iron Man.

Lord of the Rings IV.

Watering the garden gnome

Balding gnomes

'Your dad wouldn't let you borrow the car tonight?'

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

The Human Condition

"The STEM program has many advantages: you can invent stuff, you can use great equipment...but let's talk about the great cafeteria food."

'I think I missed that episode.'

Greatly enlarged view of newly discovered particle.

One book... One book... One book...

Sir Earnest Rutherford splits the opium.

'It's that damned gnome that attracts them!'

Better Gnomes.

'All I'm saying is I wished you'd specified where you were going put the gnomes when you asked me if we could get some!'

'Nine years after the conclusion of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Gollum reveals how he wins Steve Buscemi look-alike contests.'

The Landlord Of The Rings

'Are you sure Anderson is working on the Human Genome Project?'

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

Quilting Bee.

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

Subway Library

Lecture today. This last one is always found just outside cave entrances. Lecture today. Hominid fossil finds. We're calling him "gnomo-sapiens."