Tollbooth Humorist Gifts

"Crap."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

Bob's Driving School.

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'I'll never let my love of fishing come between us.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'Relax, Wilson-I'm just off to the loo.'

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

'Look! Man has been here!' 'Yeah, it must have been a man because the seat was left up.'

'One carry-on!'

"Looks like Billy clogged up the toilet again."

The Rural Bidet...

Scene on the English coast.

Moon's Portaloo.

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

"Take me to your toilet."

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

Prehistoric Graffito

Now you can buy shares online. "Buy Cher's What?"

The Puppet Poop

Scot's beer.

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"

Clumping and Non-Clumping Cat Litter

'Would you please stop reading over my shoulder!'

School of Comparative Anatomy

In Agatha Christie's bathroom.

Josh tests his theory that by driving backward through a quick-pass toll lane, he can get money ADDED to his credit card account.

Stop pay toll.

'The double codpiece and chips is very popular with the Blackpool crowd, your highness.'

'Sanitized for your protection.'

"OY! You trying to nick my chips?"

'Someday, son, this can be all yours.'