Toilet Traveler Gifts

Asian Travel: 'Absolutely do NOT book anyplace without a western toilet!'

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Off to see the world

Vaccination Passport

Lenin, Anticipating His Arrival at Finland Station, Sees His Baggage Taken Off at Beloostrov.

A white collar cow.

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

Busking during a pandemic

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

When travelling with her cat by plane, train, or bus, dawn always ensured no one would bother them.

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'Anything to declare?'

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

Woman is surrounding by penguins and can't reach her camera

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

I'm afraid of Chia Pets, doctor. Actually, Al, so am I. Either you're getting well, or I'm going nuts.

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

"Excuse me for a moment. It's my idiot husband."

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

Bev puts on an old favorite

"Yeah, well it hurts when you stab me with your words."

'Please Miss, why does 'Earl's Court' have an apostrophe but 'barons Court' doesn't?'

'I told you you should have bought a sat nav...!'

Commuter doing some gardening on the train

'Father maybe gone some time.'

Nativity Scene on the Underground