Tube Traveler Gifts

London Underground fare dodging

Wimbledon Tube Sign Tennis Racket.

Cops on trains: 'Is that a truncheon, or are you just pleased to see me?'

'No, you want the next one, change at Camden Town.'

'He got off at Oxford Circus.'

'Hello Ms. Russel, I'm going to be late in. I'm being held up at Euston.'

'Please Miss, why does 'Earl's Court' have an apostrophe but 'barons Court' doesn't?'

Busking during a pandemic

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

Vaccination Passport

Lenin, Anticipating His Arrival at Finland Station, Sees His Baggage Taken Off at Beloostrov.

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

"I travel Prada whenever I can."

Vacation Bus Photo

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

A white collar cow.

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

When travelling with her cat by plane, train, or bus, dawn always ensured no one would bother them.

'Anything to declare?'

Caution Dry Rot

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.