Toilet Paper Analyst Gifts

'Life is like a toilet roll. It's only when you've reached the end do you realize how much you've wasted.'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

Coronavirus: Consequences for the economy!

Two 'superheros' show the discrepancy in toilet paper production.

"You are correct sir, I am only the janitor and you are the CEO, but remeber I control the availability of toilet paper in the executive washroom."

I break for toilet paper

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

"No not the puppy please"

Do what you can to flatten the curve

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

A hand reaches frantically out a trailer bathroom door trying to grab a roll of toilet paper that's rolling away and down the aisle.

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Creation of Adam

A new species just discovered in the Softwood Forest...The TP tree.

"Hi, Honey, I went to that new wholesale store...and, boy, did I get a deal on toilet paper!"

"I can't come out, Mary is having one of her marathon cries."

'I see you approve of our switch to Ultra Soft.'

Flush Direct

Toilet Tissue Typist.

Over. Under. Sideways. Kid.

'It was the only white thing I had.'

'You're so soft today. Did you switch to 2-ply?'

"I figured my family could use a padded cell. Actually, I just buy toilet paper in bulk."

"Here, try this on." "But mom, everyone's wearing three ply. I'll be a freak."

Bears Going to the Bathroom in Woods.

"Watch your step, it's a sure sign bears are around."

'It just hasn't been my day.'

'The newspaper reckons there's a shortage of toilet paper.' - 'What would we do without newspapers?'

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

Toilet paper calendar

'Procter and Gamble? I dunno, sounds risky - what if everyone stops using toilet paper?'

"My neighbor's house got TPed, and doubled in value."

Toilet Paper Hill

Toilet paper rush