Toilet Paper Critic Gifts

Who's been using our toilet roll?

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

Coronavirus: Consequences for the economy!

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

I break for toilet paper

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

Have food. Need toilet paper

Do what you can to flatten the curve

"No not the puppy please"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

A hand reaches frantically out a trailer bathroom door trying to grab a roll of toilet paper that's rolling away and down the aisle.

Creation of Adam

A new species just discovered in the Softwood Forest...The TP tree.

"Hi, Honey, I went to that new wholesale store...and, boy, did I get a deal on toilet paper!"

The Thinker Thinks of Toilet Roll.

'I see you approve of our switch to Ultra Soft.'

"I can't come out, Mary is having one of her marathon cries."

Flush Direct

'It was the only white thing I had.'

'You're so soft today. Did you switch to 2-ply?'

"Watch your step, it's a sure sign bears are around."

"Well, we've just run out of toilet paper, but I guess we can use our stock options instead."

COWS: Cows weekly shop

'It just hasn't been my day.'

"I figured my family could use a padded cell. Actually, I just buy toilet paper in bulk."

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

'The newspaper reckons there's a shortage of toilet paper.' - 'What would we do without newspapers?'

Toilet paper calendar

"Here, try this on." "But mom, everyone's wearing three ply. I'll be a freak."

'Procter and Gamble? I dunno, sounds risky - what if everyone stops using toilet paper?'

"My neighbor's house got TPed, and doubled in value."

Toilet Paper Hill

'Well if they are 'laugh lines', you've got an awful lot for such a misery guts!'