Toilet Break Tactician Gifts

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Personal Potty Trainer

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

A hand reaches frantically out a trailer bathroom door trying to grab a roll of toilet paper that's rolling away and down the aisle.

"Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You OK in there?" "I think I'm dying here." "What? D'you need me to call 911?" "I don't think that'll help." "I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city." "Get off your phone!!!" "I'm saving a kingdom here! It's important!"

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

Over. Under. Sideways. Kid.

"You're getting a time-out because Mommy needs a time-out."

Potty Training.

'I warned you to stop snarfing down the free samples!'

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

"I really really have to pee."

'Looks like we lucked out.'

Toilet training for an adult.

"I think the flush is broken."

Fighting corona

Shelf Isolation

'...And they gave me fifteen more minutes for resisting arrest!'

"So here we see how Covid-19 is also damaging the brain."

'Watch your step in there!'

"I'm sorry, mom. I couldn't hold it."

Toilet paper shortage

"Can you put it on pause for a moment, Eric? I'd like to get a word in edgeways."

Pocket Money Negotiations

'I found clothes in the closet, under the bed, and behind the couch. That's not what I meant by separating your laundry.'

This is the 4th time this week!! It's almost as if someone's sabotaging it so it won't flush... Anyhow, I need to set up another service appointment.

"Ever stop and wonder why this is the only place where you manage to pick up after yourself?"