Bathroom Tactician Gifts

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

"This stool shall pass."

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

A hand reaches frantically out a trailer bathroom door trying to grab a roll of toilet paper that's rolling away and down the aisle.

Office De-cluttering

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

Kangaroo to upside down joey: 'Once again your room is in total disarray!'

Over. Under. Sideways. Kid.

'...I got my hands dirty washing my face!'

"I'm adding the laundry room and kitchen to your GPS. Judging by all the clothes and dishes in your room, you don't know the locations."

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

Chess Chef

Potty Training.

'I warned you to stop snarfing down the free samples!'

"Wash and Quo"

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

Teddy! Clean up your room! Twig! Time to empty the dishwasher. Apparently they're not voice-activated.

Lav Nav

Moon Vacuuming

'The snake and plunger didn't work, so I'm going in...'

'Sooner or later we'll have to cross their picket line.' (Ladies and Gentlemen toilet signs on strike).

Windscreen wiper on mirror to clean mess from youth squeezing spots

"You left the toilet seat up again!"

Fighting corona

Bed Boxing Ring.

"Yes, mom, I forgot my towel. Now I need an exit strategy!"

"So here we see how Covid-19 is also damaging the brain."

Shelf Isolation

"Those are my books on tidying up."

'conference call on line one. Your wife, your mistress and your wife's lawyer.'