Bedroom Tactician Gifts

Bed Boxing Ring.

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

'My last comment appeared to be inviting feedback. Do not be fooled.'

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

"Abra-Viagra."

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'We'll take it!'

'Either I've got bad news for you or my watch has stopped...'

'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand.'

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

'Go ahead and throw in the monkey wrench, Sims. The suspense is killing us.'

"How long has it been, Fenwick, since you weaseled your way into this corporation?"

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

'Remember our strategy. You divide, I'll conquer.'

'Remember his weakness is a pulled tendon, so keep it as high as your bursitis will let you, but take it easy with your fast ball because of my bone chips.'

"It was meant as a compliment. In my eyes, you're a real pig."

'I warned you to stop snarfing down the free samples!'

"Higgins, we need to have a little talk."

A dog locks a man out and sleeps in his bed.

Businessman moving part of a round table.

'OK, the bedspread doesn't do it for you. What's your formula for arousal?'

A couple look at a graph on their bed

"I enjoy role-playing, but do we really need the dramaturge?"

"It's O.K., hon, it happens. It even happened to NATO."

"The quarterly figures are in. Airplane made your phones, seat-back up, and buckle your seatbelt."

'I take it that means you don't think much of my idea...'

"Do you have anything a little firmer?"

'He's always wanted an adjustamatic.'

'We tried it your way and continue to lose market share. It's time you let me take a shot at it.'

"I don't know what he's protesting, but he's been on a cleaning strike ever since I married him."

"Okay, up there, let's give 'er another try."