Toe-tally Funny Friend Pillows

Potatoes.

'My feet are killing me.'

"How should we divide the teams?"

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

A Punch and Judy Professor is visited by Death as a puppet.

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'It's one of the less well known about dangers of a sedentary lifestyle!'

'You've got lot toe!'

'Great! You mean it's obedience school prom season already!'

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

'This is tasty and all, but do you really think this is a great idea considering we have hundreds of teeth?'

"I'm leaving a one starfish review of this tank on Yelp."

"Every five minutes it's 'feed me this, get me that' or something along those lines, I mean, I'm parrot-phrasing."

Fido phones

'Where's your goldfish?'

The perfect relationship

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

'My god, he's insane.'

'According to this book, goldfish have a 3 second memory...'

'You have mistle-TOE.'

'Kevin, I'm sorry for losing my temper on the eighteenth. Ah I see they removed the flag alright.'

"I enjoy younger guys, but they have to be house-broken."

'Did you know golf is the healthiest sport you can play?'

Extreme Weather Predicted in 2022

'Not that babysitter again! Better behave or she zaps you...'

"Isn't it time you had your bath?"

Corn and Bunion plants.

"Look who's moved in next door."

An exciting online development for people with foot fetishes: Footbook.

'Had I'd known it would be such a long walk I wouldn't have worn heels.'

Fish golfing.