Toe-tally Funny Folks Pillows

That's a nasty outgoing toenail you've got there.'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

"...and the King Cholesterol Meal comes with a side order of CPR."

'You've got lot toe!'

Potatoes.

Ordinarily I'd suggest we'd talk our way out...If only we weren't so God damn tasty!

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

Man eating his meal with his feet.

TV dinners: regular and widescreen

"You talkin' to me?"

Sushi For Men...

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'Hang on a minute, the small print says: 'Endorsed by the French Government'...'

The cake diet.

"Guys, guys! Let's take this from the top. Who ordered the chicken nuggets...?"

Soup on a stick

'My god, he's insane.'

"You see, I told you it was worth the climb! Your first 'bird's eye view'. . ."

Meatball of the Gods.

A Toe Jam with The Hang Nails.

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

Walk the dog.

"Mmmmmm....meat and two veg!"

'Had I'd known it would be such a long walk I wouldn't have worn heels.'

'It's the worse case of in-growing toe nails I've ever seen, nurse!'

Fish pedicures - a woman with her feet in goldfish bowls, with the fish complaining about what they have to eat since the beauty craze took off.

"How are you fixed for sandals?"

Dogs in restaurant: 'I'll have the fresh slippers, the pan-fried postman's trousers and I'll finished with the baked homework.'

'What exactly is this darling, in case I have to describe to later to a doctor?'

Rex, I overheard Master say he had a Hot Dog for lunch!

'What'll it be... hip hop or salsa?'