Toe-tally Whimsical Pillows

Corn and Bunion plants.

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

'You've got lot toe!'

Potatoes.

Man eating his meal with his feet.

"You talkin' to me?"

"Psst. . . fancy shoe sales are down. Can you make Crocs instead?"

'They're fine through the day, but when I leave work the little one goes 'wee wee wee' all the way home.'

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'My god, he's insane.'

'You have mistle-TOE.'

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

A Toe Jam with The Hang Nails.

An exciting online development for people with foot fetishes: Footbook.

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

'It's the worse case of in-growing toe nails I've ever seen, nurse!'

Podiatry. If the frostbite was any worse we'd have to amputate. You just barely stayed out of the "toe away" zone!

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

Time for the traditional bubble-wrap dance.

That's a nasty outgoing toenail you've got there.'

Riverdance school

Have you been eating people again, Gertie?

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

She says my feet stink. What do you think, Goldie?

A Volunteer Review

Artists Materials - Augustus Johnnies Artists Sandals

"He used to read him stories but now he just tells him how great he feels since he stopped drinking."

"I'm celebrating one year of abstinence from alcohol."

Go ahead and smirk, but toe boots are very ergonomic.