Toddlers’ Totterers Gifts

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Swan Fairy Tales

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"When did she start crawling?"

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

'Beware of teething baby.'

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

"I haven't been in a playpen yet that could hold me."

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

"I mean, he does have a point."

Babies

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'