Fashion Totterer Gifts

"I told you getting bangs was a stupid idea."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

Scarf puts hat back on.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Old hippie gives peace sign.

Mating rituals

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

"Like my new haircut?"

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

Customer Convention

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

The Aging of Underwear

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

Sales - "For the last time, stop saving us money." (Colour)

Do you like my bling?

"Port outbound, starboard home."

Suits 50% Off

"When a cowboy wears it, it is a cowboy hat."

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

A cow with a Brazilian.

'A mind is a terrible thing to make up.'

Lady imitating fashion

Easter Bonnet

"Wouldn't it be nice to slip into a simple little black number for a change?"

Men's Department. I want a tie that says, "I hate ties."

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

Smart 3 Piece Suite.

"If they fit, we can return them."

Hospital gown pageant.