Fashion Ponderer Gifts

'You know you're 40 when...'(women)

'Who knew you could have a moral debate over boxers versus briefs.'

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

Totalitarian Humour

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

Mating rituals

Sun Flower.

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"You want to grow a ponytail? OK...as long as it's not from hair growing out of your ears."

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"I'm having second thoughts about those damn school uniforms."

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

"Late Jurassic is so Retro..."

Chippunks

Social Struggles

A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing.

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

"It's off the rack. The guy on the rack doesn't need it anymore."

"Forget the future, tell me what happened to the past ten years."

"Hold on a minute, will you? I just want to see what color Charlie Rose's tie is tonight."

"Just think, someday we'll be considered 'retro'."

"But is it..?"

"How much more for pinstripes?"

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

'I imagine you're interested in one of the more highly visible occupations?'

Smart meter. Smarter meter

A guardsman is embarrassed when the wind reveals his bearskin hat is doubling as a 'comb over'.

Down at the Local Baa-Baa Shop

'Malcolm is unswayed by post-foundationalist trendiness.'

"Is that what you're wearing?"

'Gus! Get over here and see what our tattoos used to look like!'

"Do you have any questions apart from 'where did I get my jazzy tie'?"

'That's beautiful! Where can I get one?'

'If you're really open to change, you won't go South this year.'

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'