Beauty Ponderer Gifts

'She would be a real cutie if it wasn't for that chipped tooth.'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Woman looking into a mirror

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"Define fair."

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

"Death coach..."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

Baxter finally gets a life

Wally dozes off in the middle of his mid-life crisis.

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

"Last time I saw you, you were just a baby."

'Cosmetic surgery.'

"In a former life, I was exactly the same."

Creator's Remorse

The big life questions that really get us thinking.

'I've turned another corner in my life.' 'One more corner and you'll be back where you started.'

"But is it..?"

What you want in life is sometimes out of reach.

'Does my posterior appear oversized in this?'

"This will make the man in your life wonder where you went."

'You know you're 40 when...'(women)

'The meaning of life? 'Life' boils down into three categories...you are born...you live awhile....you then die.'

"You're really serious about that diet!"

"What if this is all there is?"

'The Meaning of Life or your life!'

Information desk at the top of a mountain.