Fashion Paradox Ponderer Gifts

'What are they, men or women? I don't know, they're not wearing clothes.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

The Artist

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

"I'm having second thoughts about those damn school uniforms."

Desert island dweller sinks in sand.

"You want to grow a ponytail? OK...as long as it's not from hair growing out of your ears."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

Inventing Time Travel

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

"I'm a huge fan of your work."

Schrodinger's kittens

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

Shrodinger's cat: I may or many not be missing.

"Experimental 'no government' zone next 200 miles—by order of Trump!"

A psychic mows the lawn.

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"