Fashion Sceptic Gifts

"No no no! Stripes are soooo half-past four!"

"That shirt is so last year."

"I'm having second thoughts about those damn school uniforms."

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"You want to grow a ponytail? OK...as long as it's not from hair growing out of your ears."

'I'm glad to see you finally pulled in sales. Nevertheless, you're fired. Here, we're dealing with socks and shoes, not with suits and shirts.'

'Fashion Police Incident Area'

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

"Would you have anything a bit...'stupider'?"

"Yes... you'll be wearing that bridesmaids dress for eternity!"

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

"December 29, 1991: Janet sacrifices months of self esteem therapy for the perfect New Year's Eve dress." "It's called an 'Everest' gown because it would be a monumental task to squeeze that mountain you call an ass into it."

"Someone's been sending me J. Crew catalogues."

"Wow, maybe Heidi Klum looks like Gisele Bundchen."

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

"I think whatever's going to happen next has already happened."

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."

"Is that what you're wearing?"

'Malcolm is unswayed by post-foundationalist trendiness.'

Style

'What are they, men or women? I don't know, they're not wearing clothes.'

'I see you've dressed to go clubbing.'

"I'm trying to be myself and you're not helping."

"And, finally, I can put this charming toy plane on the dress because I am Ungaro."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

'Are you going to keep that silly mustache for all eternity?'

'Every Age has its vision of beauty.'

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

How to dress for forty below...if you're over forty, or under twenty.

Extraordinarily Ugly Clothes for Extraordinarily Attractive People

"Wise up. You and me do not make a ferret craze."