Anti-fashionist Gifts

I want a tie that says I hate ties.

Men's Department. I want a tie that says, "I hate ties."

Man burning his tie.

As Seen Watching TV

'The kids were rebelling against the new school uniform policy, so we had to make some design changes.'

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

"Think of it -- you'd never have to fold another shirt."

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

"Someone's been sending me J. Crew catalogues."

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

"Honestly, Kate—can you picture us in a shopping mall?"

"I'm trying to be myself and you're not helping."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"No no no! Stripes are soooo half-past four!"

'I got dressed in the dark.'

How to dress for forty below...if you're over forty, or under twenty.

"How weird is it?"

'Surely we can settle this like Civilized People!'

"Wise up. You and me do not make a ferret craze."

Nerd Day Was Always The Least Popular Part Of Fashion Week.

A Thinking Man's Guide to the Tuxedo T-Shirt

"Sometimes I think he just doesn't understand the whole hive-mind thing."

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

I'm so sick of 2017, Randy. What? It's still 2016. I know. But everyone's saying how horrible 2016 is and how they can't wait for it to be over. I don't want to be part of the herd, I want to be a trendsetter. There are better ways to be a trendsetter, little buddy. #hashtag-2017-stinks.

'Excuse me, Miss, which floor would I find dull pullovers on?'

Punk

'I'd rather be wearing a plain white t-shirt.'

Correct sir, our new dress down friday guideline does allow T-shirts with a logo, but it's the company's logo that must appear on it!

Closed. Due to there being enough crap in the world!

'I'd like a newspaper with no car, house or mobile phone adverts in it.'

"It's hideous. Be sure to price it high enough that someone buys it."

"As a protest against the tyranny of technology, I refuse to upgrade my phone."

"I didn't know it was casual wing day."

'Everything checks out ok, Mrs. Winslow, except your clothes.'

Her man-repellent jumper was delightfully effective.