Fashion Industry Skeptic Gifts

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

CATCHY NAME

"You want to grow a ponytail? OK...as long as it's not from hair growing out of your ears."

"I'm having second thoughts about those damn school uniforms."

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

"Someone's been sending me J. Crew catalogues."

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

"If my mother and father had wanted to see Yves Saint Laurent's initials on my possessions, one supposes they would have named me Yves Saint Laurent."

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

'Malcolm is unswayed by post-foundationalist trendiness.'

"Is that what you're wearing?"

Style

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

'Are you going to keep that silly mustache for all eternity?'

'Every Age has its vision of beauty.'

"Everyone who cares about you is here, Frank, because we all feel it's time you quit wearing your baseball cap backwards."

'When will you learn? You're only paying for the label!'

As his hearing worsened, Larry had to buy louder and louder clothes.

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

"No no no! Stripes are soooo half-past four!"

How to dress for forty below...if you're over forty, or under twenty.

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

"Which is better: made in USA by illegal immigrants or made overseas by cheap labor?"

"Wise up. You and me do not make a ferret craze."