Fashion Industry Skeptic Gifts

Whaddaya know - "Made in hell by former sweatshop owners."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Middle-Age Superheroes

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

CATCHY NAME

"You want to grow a ponytail? OK...as long as it's not from hair growing out of your ears."

Next semester I have "The Frito-lay

"I'm having second thoughts about those damn school uniforms."

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

"If my mother and father had wanted to see Yves Saint Laurent's initials on my possessions, one supposes they would have named me Yves Saint Laurent."

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

"Someone's been sending me J. Crew catalogues."

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

'Malcolm is unswayed by post-foundationalist trendiness.'

"Is that what you're wearing?"

Style

'Every Age has its vision of beauty.'

'When will you learn? You're only paying for the label!'

"Everyone who cares about you is here, Frank, because we all feel it's time you quit wearing your baseball cap backwards."

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

"I want a campaign that shows the brand's empathetic, inclusive and caring side - or you're all fired."

'Are you going to keep that silly mustache for all eternity?'

As his hearing worsened, Larry had to buy louder and louder clothes.

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

"No no no! Stripes are soooo half-past four!"

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

"Whatever you do, DON'T go in there! It's the mummy's purse!"

How to dress for forty below...if you're over forty, or under twenty.

"Which is better: made in USA by illegal immigrants or made overseas by cheap labor?"

"Wise up. You and me do not make a ferret craze."