Style Skeptic Gifts

"You're not going out wearing that tie with that shirt are you?"

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Pampered and poodled.

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"I don't like your application."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

Mister Pretty Shoes

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

"Do you do much walking?"

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

Elegant woman in backless dress.

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."

'I'll take it!'

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

Changing Room Decisions

'Can I have mine with the peak at the front '