Style Skeptic Gifts

"You're not going out wearing that tie with that shirt are you?"

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Pampered and poodled.

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"I don't like your application."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

Mister Pretty Shoes

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

"Do you do much walking?"

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

'I'll take it!'

Changing Room Decisions

Elegant woman in backless dress.

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."