Salon Skeptic Gifts

Slimming salon offers to take pounds off (your purse).

The adoration of the gels.

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

Judge getting hair done.

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

"Someone's been sending me J. Crew catalogues."

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

Dog fetching slippers with a peg on his nose.

'No, it's not a special on the Grand Canyon. It's an actor's face in high definition.'

Shakespeare makes much ado about nothing.

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

'I know exactly what you mean...men are such hot heads!'

"This time lick my entire body."

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

"He spoils them."

'Why not just buy a tube?'

Jo's Beauty Salon. On vacation. Closed for Summer. That's when things got ugly.

'I don't think much of your work experience scheme Eric!'

'Look! The first active ingredient is marketing spin.'

Unnecessary Surgery

'Go ahead. I just love to have my nails cut.'

Dye now, pay later!

'I think I'm starting to develop crow's feet, Lance. What should I do?'

Medusa gets a trim.

'Morag darlin', they've made you look like a hundred dollars!'

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

"No no no! Stripes are soooo half-past four!"

'The truth is there is no 'Youth Formula' worth millions. This is Mountain Dew.'