Salon Skeptic Pillows

Slimming salon offers to take pounds off (your purse).

The adoration of the gels.

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

Judge getting hair done.

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

Shakespeare makes much ado about nothing.

"Someone's been sending me J. Crew catalogues."

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

Dog fetching slippers with a peg on his nose.

'No, it's not a special on the Grand Canyon. It's an actor's face in high definition.'

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

"This time lick my entire body."

'I know exactly what you mean...men are such hot heads!'

"He spoils them."

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

'Why not just buy a tube?'

'Look! The first active ingredient is marketing spin.'

'I don't think much of your work experience scheme Eric!'

'Go ahead. I just love to have my nails cut.'

'I think I'm starting to develop crow's feet, Lance. What should I do?'

Medusa gets a trim.

Dye now, pay later!

Unnecessary Surgery

'Morag darlin', they've made you look like a hundred dollars!'

"No no no! Stripes are soooo half-past four!"

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

How to dress for forty below...if you're over forty, or under twenty.