Skincare Skeptic Gifts

'Look! The first active ingredient is marketing spin.'

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

'I think I'm starting to develop crow's feet, Lance. What should I do?'

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

'I wouldn't, it just gave me acne.'

'No, it's not a special on the Grand Canyon. It's an actor's face in high definition.'

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"Too much concealer?"

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

New Twenty Blades

Desert Dermatologist

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'You do Botox?'

'I Love the touch of your dry flakey skin!'

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

The US election is over.

Tips on how to reduce those unsightly crow's feet.

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."