Beauty Standards Skeptic Gifts

"Typical pre-lipo period."

"Of course, by now she'd be around a hundred and eighty years old."

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

Woman looking into a mirror

"Define fair."

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

Missing my hair.

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

"She's genetically modified, you know."

Animal cosmetic testing

'No, it's not a special on the Grand Canyon. It's an actor's face in high definition.'

"Someone's been sending me J. Crew catalogues."

Bar Refaeli

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

Whatever look you were aiming for..you missed!

"Girlfriend, you're not fat. You're just retaining a little water."

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

Romee Strijd caricature

Katy Perry

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

'Look! The first active ingredient is marketing spin.'

"What? It's been ten years. . . She's had six kids for goodness sake. She can't still be the fairest of them all!"

"Yeah, I agree, it is a but unexpected since you were such a handsome caterpillar..."

'I think I'm starting to develop crow's feet, Lance. What should I do?'

'I was born as beautiful as you, but after a few years you will see...'

"In my culture it is very important to have straight teeth."

Unnecessary Surgery

"Naturally curly hair."

"Of course I love your long hair Rapunzel. But maybe you could shave your legs just once in a while?"

'The truth is there is no 'Youth Formula' worth millions. This is Mountain Dew.'

Bridget Malcolm