Beauty Standards Rebel Gifts

This area has been designated an area of outstanding unnatural ugliness.

Missing my hair.

Bad fake tan day.

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

'Fashion Police Incident Area'

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'

"I just love these casual fridays."

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

'I know it's difficult to stay in compliance, with everything, Ferguson, but this is ridiculous!'

"She's genetically modified, you know."

'But the invitation says 'come as you are'.'

"Look, you took a huge fashion risk and it just didn't work out for you."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

Animal cosmetic testing

Whatever look you were aiming for..you missed!

Romee Strijd caricature

"Girlfriend, you're not fat. You're just retaining a little water."

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

Classical Beauty: "My secret is to eat lots of olive-skinned men."

"It's remarkable, Mr. Volmer. You have the clothes of a man half your age!"

Unnecessary Surgery

Quarantine Day 60: "Mom says her boobs have enjoyed their temporary liberation from bra-jail."

"Naturally curly hair."

'I was born as beautiful as you, but after a few years you will see...'

"What? It's been ten years. . . She's had six kids for goodness sake. She can't still be the fairest of them all!"

'Because you're not a boy genius with a billion bucks - THAT's why you can't wear a hoodie to work.'

"Of course I love your long hair Rapunzel. But maybe you could shave your legs just once in a while?"

"In your case I think glasses would work better than contact lenses..."