Beauty Standards Gifts

Whatever look you were aiming for..you missed!

"Does my body make me look fat?"

"Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's white cisheteropatriarchal standards of beauty."

"Of course, they would walk out here the week I don't shave my armpits."

"I don't care if they are fake. I like 'em."

'I'd like a facelift for the woman next door!'

'I owe my creation to Dr. Frankenstein. But my botox, nose job and scar removal are the work of my plastic surgeon, Dr. Guida.'

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

'I was born as beautiful as you, but after a few years you will see...'

Fickle world of fashion

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

The adoration of the gels.

Bad fake tan day.

Spa

Bad hair day!

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Dragon Hair-dryer.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

Shampoo.

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

Lesser known greek gods,

"Too much concealer?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

Pampered and poodled.

Dating is so expensive...

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'