Toddlers’ Totterers Pillows

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Swan Fairy Tales

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"When did she start crawling?"

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

'Beware of teething baby.'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

"I haven't been in a playpen yet that could hold me."

"I mean, he does have a point."

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

Babies

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

"Before we start on the main agenda does anybody need money to take them to the tinkle room?"