Toddler Tales Gifts

'I know how you like things to be clean, so I gave fishy a bath!"

"It's too hot to strive for autonomy."

'These are the last of the pull-ups, so no on have a taxi-dent, OK?'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

The Fourth Little Pig

Late night teddy reading

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

'She's just great with the children.'

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

"Well did he?"

Dorothy, the lion, and the scarecrow, are suddenly confronted by the tin man of Oz.

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

Alice Through the Looking Glass - The Garden of Live Flowers.

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

The Little Engine That Wouldn't

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."