Toddler Giggler Gifts

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

The Busy Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"Garden variety allergies."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Beginning Yarder.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Yard Sale

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Balding gnomes

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'Where are you going?'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."