Toddler Giggler T-Shirts

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

Hardy Annuals

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Yard Sale

Batman's Baby

Beginning Yarder.

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"What are you in for?"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'Where are you going?'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

Balding gnomes

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

Now THAT, my friend, is a beer garden!

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.