Titanic Gifts

A pack of icebergs out hunting

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

The household cavalry

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

'None of the other things had instructions.'

Titanic iceberg auction

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

Socially responsible kid throws rubbish in the bin.

Cleaning Lockers.

"...But if you'd led back a heart instead of that spade..."

Celine Dion

'Your iceberg salad, Captain!'

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

Modern Studying

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

Stop the big guy!

'Why didn't you tell me there was a toilet attachment on our space suits?'

"Honey,...Oscar wants to go for a walk."

'Sorry about the blindfolds girls, but I haven't had time to tidy up.'

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

'I'm not fat, am I?'

'I'm putting my husband's card in the bag too... he's a Dentist.'

"And this was before you plumped the cushions, or after?"

Kevin was very houseproud and it showed.

In case of urge to tidy up, clean glass.

"This is like the sinking if some really, really, really big ship."

Please pick up after your kid

He's the most obsessively neat captain I've ever worked for --- He has a dustbuster instead of a hook.