Tip Talker Pillows

'That tip you gave her-I hope you're not expecting to eat for the rest of the month!'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

Mine says, 'Blaming China won't work.'

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

'You're right, I did overtip. Well, we'll just stiff someone at the next place.'

"I'd say my favourite wine is the sixth one."

'...There's this big dude on the other side. Nobody look! But, every time we try anything he comes after me. Now, what's that all about?'

"Our trade deficit is at an all-time high, and you order English muffins?"

'All these conferences look the same.'

'Please remember how silly and humiliating grinding pepper is when you figure my tip.'

'I made a big mistake. In a fit of anger, I said, 'Screw you' to my boss.'

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

"This one goes out to the lovers who aren’t intimidated by my tip jar."

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

'They're fine through the day, but when I leave work the little one goes 'wee wee wee' all the way home.'

"How much do you think I should I tip myself?"

"All our ingredients are ethically sourced, so feel free to leave the sh*ttiest tip you can possibly imagine."

Tip Responsibly

Tip responsibly

'Owner's kid. Gets paid under the table.'

"It's a good idea to tip first. That way I know what level of service you expect."

'I never get tipped!'

"15%? We all tipped 20%"

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

"Thank you, sir. I see you're not hopelessly liberal."