Tip Calculation Experts Pillows

'You just give me a big tip, Madam.'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

Get a Job

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist, George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

"Isn't it enough we tip well? Must we also like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter?"

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

'You're right, I did overtip. Well, we'll just stiff someone at the next place.'

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

"This one goes out to the lovers who aren’t intimidated by my tip jar."

"I should have paid more attention in math class."

"Why, yes, I am 'still working on that.' You know what I'm not working on? Your gratuity!"

Tip Responsibly

"How much do you think I should I tip myself?"

"All our ingredients are ethically sourced, so feel free to leave the sh*ttiest tip you can possibly imagine."

"Your father suffers from 'Notip Arthritis'. It's characterized by a stiffening of the waitress."

'Owner's kid. Gets paid under the table.'

Tip responsibly

"It's a good idea to tip first. That way I know what level of service you expect."

'Whoa! Our waiter's online and you should see what he's saying about your tip!'

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

"15%? We all tipped 20%"

"Expect a generous gratuity on table 9...I hacked his tip calculator."

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

"Thank you, sir. I see you're not hopelessly liberal."

They waited as Allen tabulated how much the meal had cost per bite.

"Did you remember to tip the doorman?"

The Generous Tipper Restaurant