Tipping Tactician Pillows

"It's a good idea to tip first. That way I know what level of service you expect."

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

"This one goes out to the lovers who aren’t intimidated by my tip jar."

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

'Waiter, your ten percent tip.'

'You'll be asked to rate my service after the meal, so could you give me a little hint just how much you expect from me?'

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

"How much do you think I should I tip myself?"

"I appreciate your enthusiasm in serving me but I never tip more than 15 percent."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

Kitchen Tetris

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

"I heard you're top dog in trust and loyalty training."

"That was a rumor day."

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

My first mistake.

Human males marking territory.

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

Osbourne plans for another 'Giveaway' Budget

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

"Today workers in socialistic economies sought private sector solutions. Workers in predominantly private sector economies want more socialism."

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

'Boy, look at his personal space!'