Tip Calculator Enthusiast Pillows

"I should have paid more attention in math class."

Math Dreams

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

I love maths.

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

'I'm still working on the mystery of how to make a decent living with a tip jar.'

'Well, arithmetic IS important. It let's you understand money so you can buy batteries for your calculator.'

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

"Your calculations are right- it's our teabreak!"

I think I have a 45-45 chance of passing my math class.'

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

"But it's helping me learn my math!"

'Oh yeah, well your dad may have a better calculator, but my dad can add without one.'

'There must be some mistake. According to our actuary tables I'm going to live to 83.'

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

Tip responsibly

Watch Salesman

'Owner's kid. Gets paid under the table.'

"Your father suffers from 'Notip Arthritis'. It's characterized by a stiffening of the waitress."

'Calculus is my new Versace. I get a buzz from algorithms. What's going on with me, Raymond? I'm scared.'

"I mostly rely on a collection of weird tips I've found on the internet."

Tip Responsibly

'You just give me a big tip, Madam.'

Accountant job

'I never get tipped!'

'Whoa! Our waiter's online and you should see what he's saying about your tip!'

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

"Expect a generous gratuity on table 9...I hacked his tip calculator."

"O'Malley, that's either just plain wrong. . . or it's the accounting breakthrough we've been hanging out for!"

"Thank you, sir. I see you're not hopelessly liberal."