Tip Calculating Enthusiast Pillows

"Expect a generous gratuity on table 9...I hacked his tip calculator."

Math Dreams

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

I love maths.

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

'I'm still working on the mystery of how to make a decent living with a tip jar.'

'Well, arithmetic IS important. It let's you understand money so you can buy batteries for your calculator.'

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

"Isn't it enough we tip well? Must we also like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter?"

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

'You're right, I did overtip. Well, we'll just stiff someone at the next place.'

"Your calculations are right- it's our teabreak!"

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

"I should have paid more attention in math class."

I think I have a 45-45 chance of passing my math class.'

"This one goes out to the lovers who aren’t intimidated by my tip jar."

"But it's helping me learn my math!"

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

'There must be some mistake. According to our actuary tables I'm going to live to 83.'

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

"Your father suffers from 'Notip Arthritis'. It's characterized by a stiffening of the waitress."

'Owner's kid. Gets paid under the table.'

"I mostly rely on a collection of weird tips I've found on the internet."

'You just give me a big tip, Madam.'

Tip Responsibly

'Calculus is my new Versace. I get a buzz from algorithms. What's going on with me, Raymond? I'm scared.'

"All our ingredients are ethically sourced, so feel free to leave the sh*ttiest tip you can possibly imagine."

"How much do you think I should I tip myself?"