Tip Calculation Expert Pillows

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist, George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

'You're right, I did overtip. Well, we'll just stiff someone at the next place.'

"Isn't it enough we tip well? Must we also like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter?"

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

"I should have paid more attention in math class."

'Please remember how silly and humiliating grinding pepper is when you figure my tip.'

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

"This one goes out to the lovers who aren’t intimidated by my tip jar."

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

"How much do you think I should I tip myself?"

'Owner's kid. Gets paid under the table.'

Tip responsibly

"All our ingredients are ethically sourced, so feel free to leave the sh*ttiest tip you can possibly imagine."

"Why, yes, I am 'still working on that.' You know what I'm not working on? Your gratuity!"

"One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe."

"Your father suffers from 'Notip Arthritis'. It's characterized by a stiffening of the waitress."

Tip Responsibly

'You just give me a big tip, Madam.'

"It's a good idea to tip first. That way I know what level of service you expect."

'Whoa! Our waiter's online and you should see what he's saying about your tip!'

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

"Expect a generous gratuity on table 9...I hacked his tip calculator."

"15%? We all tipped 20%"

"Thank you, sir. I see you're not hopelessly liberal."

They waited as Allen tabulated how much the meal had cost per bite.

"Whatever you do, give the bellboy a good tip."

"Did you remember to tip the doorman?"