Tip Calculation Expert Pillows

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist, George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

'You're right, I did overtip. Well, we'll just stiff someone at the next place.'

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

"This one goes out to the lovers who aren’t intimidated by my tip jar."

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

"I should have paid more attention in math class."

'Please remember how silly and humiliating grinding pepper is when you figure my tip.'

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

"Your father suffers from 'Notip Arthritis'. It's characterized by a stiffening of the waitress."

'You just give me a big tip, Madam.'

'Owner's kid. Gets paid under the table.'

"One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe."

"All our ingredients are ethically sourced, so feel free to leave the sh*ttiest tip you can possibly imagine."

Tip Responsibly

"Why, yes, I am 'still working on that.' You know what I'm not working on? Your gratuity!"

"How much do you think I should I tip myself?"

Tip responsibly

"It's a good idea to tip first. That way I know what level of service you expect."

'Whoa! Our waiter's online and you should see what he's saying about your tip!'

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

"15%? We all tipped 20%"

"Expect a generous gratuity on table 9...I hacked his tip calculator."

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

"Thank you, sir. I see you're not hopelessly liberal."

They waited as Allen tabulated how much the meal had cost per bite.

'You'll be asked to rate my service after the meal, so could you give me a little hint just how much you expect from me?'

"Whatever you do, give the bellboy a good tip."