Tiny Tornado Tamers Pillows

"There's a grouch on my couch."

A young Don King

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

Mood Swings.

'This is my natural habitat.'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

"My mom said a tornado hit my room. I checked my weather app, and it said clear skies."

'It's the only way he'll take his medicine.'

Babies

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

"A tornado? Uh, yeah...that's exactly what happened, Mom, a tornado did hit my room!"

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

G.P.S. For the Home

Oops.

'Getting my children to get out of bed and go to school was hard - So I bought a cattle-prod...'

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

'Space aliens, my foot! You get right down there and clean up that mess!'

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

'Dear Santa, I want a super plasma intruder. One that blows fire and eats people and destroys citys!!!!! Jimmy. ps Have a merry Christmas!

The First Supper

Quick Response Forces at East 89th Street

Crying parent holds crying baby.