Tiny Tornado Tamers Gifts

"There's a grouch on my couch."

A young Don King

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

Mood Swings.

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'This is my natural habitat.'

"My mom said a tornado hit my room. I checked my weather app, and it said clear skies."

Atomic Bear: Part 5

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'It's the only way he'll take his medicine.'

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

G.P.S. For the Home

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

"A tornado? Uh, yeah...that's exactly what happened, Mom, a tornado did hit my room!"

Babies

Oops.

'Getting my children to get out of bed and go to school was hard - So I bought a cattle-prod...'

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

Gangster Babies

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

'Space aliens, my foot! You get right down there and clean up that mess!'

Children's Self-Help Books. How to Look for a Lost Toy Without Moving a Muscle. It IS Possible to Make a More Annoying Sound! Tying the Impossible Knot. Mom! MOM! Moooooom!

'Dear Santa, I want a super plasma intruder. One that blows fire and eats people and destroys citys!!!!! Jimmy. ps Have a merry Christmas!

The First Supper

Quick Response Forces at East 89th Street

Crying parent holds crying baby.