Tinsel Lover Gifts

A bit pre festive isn't it?

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Where Indian ink came from.

Join me in a Martini?

"He was just hanging about in the shed, so I had him repurposed."

You're the botanicals in my gin

You've Had Enough!

Why markets crash.

The Leafs win the Cup!

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

'Stop whispering in my ear, it tickles!'

"I need a special pencil for math...one with a lot less wood and a lot more eraser."

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'I'll pour yours out as well Dear - I know that you won't be long.'

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'

"You have to practice because if the Devil challenges you to a fiddle contest and wins, he gets your soul."

Vesta

Sleepy Bunny

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

Club House. An eighty dollar green fee! -- I haven't even teed-off yet and I'm already in the hole!

'Good news hon' ! It's nothing serious! The doctor said it's just a simple case of Tennis Elbow!'

'Your tea is getting cold.'

"I have designed us new, steam-powered space suits."

Camomiletherapy

"Mine, I believe, is the Green Jacket."

It doesn't get any better than this --- Tai Chi with chai tea!

A complimentary biscuit

"That's not fair. I do not only visit you once a year on National Asparagus Day."

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"