Tannin Lover Gifts

'We let 65 people try the '03 Malbec and told them they couldn't just describe it as 'good'. The result: 65 said it was 'very good'.'

"Just be yourself."

Alien David statue

Outer Space Outsourcing

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"Look what I found, dad!"

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Houston, we have a problem."

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Alien Assumption

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

How am I abducting?

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

I know you're bored but you better not be doing that rain dance again!

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

Watch the skies: UFO buffs all stare at the sky, yet alien is amongst them.

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

Peel poker.

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

Bingo's Time Out - Part Three

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"You two seem oddly suited."

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.