Tall Tale Lover Gifts

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"Hopefully, the 7-foot guy is on our side."

Today's special guest: Rudy Park. Author of the bestselling memoir iMac Therefore I Am. Raised by rabid chimps in the desert, Rudy went on to invent the computer, and date Paris Hilton. Such an inspiring tale, young man. I made it all up. And so honest, too. Let me come clean!

Chicken Fibs

'I went fly fishing yesterday. I caught a 5lb blue bottle.'

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

'Our tuna salad baguettes are this big!'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Fishing Tales

J. R. R. Tolkien

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

Reasonableman

Fishing Boat Derby

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

'It was this big. I swear'

"You should've seen the triceratops that got away. It had to be this...um...this...uh...well, it was huge."

"You have to practice because if the Devil challenges you to a fiddle contest and wins, he gets your soul."

Men reading Tall Stories, and Short Stories in a Library

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

A Salmon Lie

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'