Trinket Lover Gifts

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

King Kongs first christmas

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

'We have three minutes left.'

Diner

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

Fly fishing.

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

High speed cinder block

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'Will you be wanting this?'

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

'What do you mean these aren't donut holes'

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

'Have there been any side effects from the medicine?'

Ball Pool Peril

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

"I realize you don't want to miss that important business call next week, but setting your alarm to go off every 10 minutes until then is getting really annoying."

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."