Tinsel Lover Pillows

A bit pre festive isn't it?

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Join me in a Martini?

Where Indian ink came from.

You've Had Enough!

You're the botanicals in my gin

Why markets crash.

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

"I need a special pencil for math...one with a lot less wood and a lot more eraser."

'Stop whispering in my ear, it tickles!'

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

'I'll pour yours out as well Dear - I know that you won't be long.'

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

Vesta

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"You have to practice because if the Devil challenges you to a fiddle contest and wins, he gets your soul."

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

Sleepy Bunny

Camomiletherapy

'Your tea is getting cold.'

'Good news hon' ! It's nothing serious! The doctor said it's just a simple case of Tennis Elbow!'

A complimentary biscuit

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"

"That's not fair. I do not only visit you once a year on National Asparagus Day."

Ginspiration!