Timeless Sage Gifts

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

The Authentic Christmas.

'It's the Mesolithic Age? - But I just got used to the PALEOlithic!'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"I got my emotional baggage down to a little carry-on."

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'Huh...I just got this sudden, uncontrollable urge to invent spoken language.'

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

"Hunters turned philosophers"

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

The perils of overwork.

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

"I see you dropping something and then returning to me very soon."

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

"There is some evidence that chocolate can be good for you... But the health benefits tend to fade after the first 20 kilos."

'There goes Mr. Negativity.'

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"It's not real meditation when you SMIRK like that!"

"I need to know what the future holds, at least for the next six weeks."

"I'm going to call it zero."

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'

'Apparently it's something to do with our methane gas output.'

'You're new at this, aren't you?'

'Ancient bones. Early man. Valuable. Probably Uncle Fred.'

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'