Tightwad Jokes Gifts

'You have to spend money to make money, and Walter just HATES it.'

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

Ted did have some concerns about the appearance of nepotism.

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

"I have to start thinking out of the box."

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'It's Jones Sir! He's showing of his ball point pen again!'

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

"It's good to be able to recognize everyone."

"It's dress down day!"

Google signwriter.

'A lackluster style got me to where I am, and a lackluster style is going to keep me here.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

STRIP Hambone: Zebra computer repairman

"This has you as three feet tall but I don't see you as more than two and a half."

The main reason I was chosen to be the senior manager is my ability to always be calm, wise and right. . .What's that in your hand?! Is that a shiny thing?!!. . ."

'We're looking for a consensus-building team player, if that's all right with you.'

'At the moment, it's only weakness is flypaper.' - (spyplane research dept.)

"I'm disabling autocorrect, because it reminds me too much of my mother-in-law."

Witch uses broom from broom share program.

Living Longer Magazine.

Valentine Comix

How about swapping wives for the day?

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

Invoice...outvoice.

"Team, I'd like to introduce Mr. Mandrake aka 'The Sales Magician'."

'No, I mean, what's a 'letter'?'

"There is no 'virtual arrest button', you'll have to get off your butt and do it manually."

Poodle gets stuck in the elevator.