Tidiness Enthusiast Gifts

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'The upside of being unproductive is it allows you to have a very neat desk.'

Good disciplinarian gaining respect vs. scary nutcase.

"Good afternoon. Feng-shui consultation bureau."

'Don't come in if your feet are dirty.'

'In every office there's always someone who didn't get the message.'

'It's hard to believe her biggest passion is for a cleaner environment.'

'Don't forget to wipe your feet.'

Spring cleaning.

'This place looks like a kid's room!'

'Just look at THAT dust...'

"Harry, I want a divorce. I've decided to de-clutter."

"Okay dad, I'll clean my room. . . you didn't have to make a federal case out of it!"

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

"Tidy Tim."

"Well, looks like his teenage years might be over: he's cleaning his room..."

"I can't live with your parents. Your dad just told me to clean our room or we don't get any dinner!"

"This de-cluttering has gone too far dear."

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

"Your room isn't a rubbish tip! go and mess it up now!!"

"Remember, this is the street with the dog mess."

"I've just plumped that cushion!"

"I work all day and come home to find this? A clean house!?"

"I think you need to change your underpants."

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

I know what happened! All those hairballs you forgot to vacuum got together and had a litter of dustbunnies!

"You told Pastor Bob about my room, didn't you?"

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

I recently read "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up". It's changed my life, minion. Pay attention. May involve me. The reason a lot of us never have a truly clean house is, we settle. Settlers. Pilgrims. Turkey. Our clothes, for instance. Our closets are full of stuff we're just ok with. What we should do is take everything out, lay it all on the bed, go through it ... and anything we have to think about keeping, we toss. Floss. The only things you should keep in your closet are the ones that

It's just a guess, but right now there probably are more well-organized sock drawers than ever before.

Maids

"Is it just my imagination, but are things shabbier around here since the Martha Stewart Debacle?"

'Never, Ever...open the glove compartment in your car.'

'You have to clean it yourself. There is no delete key.'